‘I know he’s with me’: SDSU’s Elzie Harrington mourns his father as he begins college career

The car rides to and from practices or games were too numerous to count. Elzie Harrington would sit in the passenger seat, listening to his father empty his overflowing reservoir of knowledge, contemplating it, absorbing it.

His father is no longer alive, passing away late last month from brain cancer, but the wisdom lives on inside him.

That, and the never-ending quest to obtain it.

Dr. Darrell Harrington was a voracious reader. Elzie went into his library at their home in Long Beach, picked out a few books and started reading them.

The incoming freshman guard at San Diego State was excused from summer practices the week before his father died and stayed with his family for an additional week afterward. He tried to work out on his own; his mind, admittedly, was elsewhere.

“I’ve been dealing with his diagnosis for two years now,” said Harrington, a four-star prospect from St. John Bosco High School in Bellflower, “but it was never real to me because he was always doing so well and he’s so strong. As things got worse, the last week, it was pretty visible that it had become serious. It was kind of hard to really focus how I wanted to and give my full attention.

“But at the same time, the biggest thing in my head is I have to do right by him. We’ve had so many conversations about goals I want to accomplish and the things I want to do. It’s just not fair for me to not accomplish those dreams. I just use it to fuel me, and I know he’s with me. It’s like I have double the power now.”

The first thing you realize about Harrington is that he’s not your typical college freshman — and not because he’s a 6-foot-6, top-100 prospect who can play multiple positions and the highest-rated men’s basketball recruit at SDSU in more than a decade.

His demeanor, his maturity, his articulation of thought, belies his years — the son of two physicians who count Barack Obama, LeBron James and other high-profile figures among their circle of friends.

Harrington initially committed to Harvard, embodying his father’s sage advice of being good enough to play at Duke and smart enough to play at Harvard.

But after his father was diagnosed with glioblastoma, the aggressive form of brain cancer with low survival rates, Harrington reasoned that “maybe it’s not a good idea to be a six-hour plane ride away.”

He decommitted last December and quickly chose USC for its familiarity and location, not wanting to drag out the process.

But as his senior season at St. John Bosco progressed, he began to have second thoughts about what he wanted and needed in a program.

Something didn’t feel right. He decommitted again and called SDSU, which he had considered in December but never visited.

One of the attractions was a program that has reached 12 of the last 15 NCAA Tournaments, more than any other school in California, and is two years removed from a trip to the national championship game. SDSU was a 90-minute drive from home. It prioritized defense and a high work rate, something he sought to improve. It has championed long, athletic, versatile guards without limiting them to a specific, defined position.

Perhaps most importantly, with a head coach who has been at the school for 27 years and a veteran staff, it offered a nurturing, family atmosphere.

At practice last week, Kawhi Leonard was at the JAM Center getting in a workout with Los Angeles Clippers assistant Jeremy Castleberry, his walk-on teammate at SDSU. Another member of that 34-3 team from 2010-11, forward Malcolm Thomas, showed up. Former Aztecs guards Trey Kell and Lamont Butler were on the sideline as well. So was Kevin Butty, a former grad assistant at SDSU now on John Calipari’s staff at Arkansas.

“It was a big part,” Harrington said. “With everything that my dad had going on, I just wanted to make sure he was confident in my decision. He was a big believer that everything happens for a reason. I am, too. Me going to (Harvard), that didn’t work out for a reason. Me going to USC, everything happened for a reason for me to be here.

“This is a great situation for me. When my dad came here, he left here thinking the same thing I was thinking: That this is it. I’m just happy that he got to see the campus and felt that it was right for me and can trust the staff has my best interests at heart.”

As Darrell Harrington’s health deteriorated, SDSU coach Brian Dutcher and assistant Ryan Badrtalei — the assistant who has close ties with Elzie and his dad — visited the Harrington family in Long Beach.

“It was honestly more than I expected,” Harrington said. “They were at my house for an hour and a half, just chopping it up. They got to say some stuff to my dad before he went unconscious. You just feel the love.

“It was: Be with your family, it’s more important than basketball. Especially at this level, not a lot of people are thinking like that.”

The memorial service is Sunday in Palos Verdes. SDSU’s entire coaching staff is attending, along with 10 players.

“We let Darrell know we are going to take good care of his son,” Dutcher said. “Life isn’t fair sometimes. Darrell was a young man who passed away. We’re trying to be as supportive as we can, knowing that grief is tough and everybody grieves differently, trying to help Elzie and the family move forward.”

He’s trying, meeting regularly with a therapist to navigate the various stages of grief amid the unique demands of being a college student and athlete. He says his teammates can already sense when something is on his mind and offer sympathetic ears.

The focus is beginning to return, the hunger, the fire. Harrington closed the final summer practice Tuesday with a step-back 3-pointer over a contesting defender that made the net dance. He allowed himself a proud smile.

“It was really surreal,” said Harrington, who was at his father’s side when he took his final breath. “I don’t wish that upon anybody to have to go through that. I just try my best not to bottle all my emotions in, try to talk them out with people I know and trust, and just get through it.

“I mean, it’s hard, but it’s the cards I’ve been dealt.”