A Thanksgiving lesson in the power of curiosity

Thanksgiving is a uniquely American paradox: a holiday built on gratitude and togetherness that is adored for the food and maligned for the table drama, practically in the same breath.

As it turns out, Thanksgiving is also the most Gen Z of holidays.

Generation Z includes people born between 1996 and 2010, meaning they’re 15-29 years old. And according to Resy, an online reservation company, 90% of Gen Zers surveyed like sitting at shared tables – more than other generations by far.

Resy concluded that in this era of digital fatigue, young people are craving these “in real life” experiences. Half of respondents said they’ve had interesting conversations “with someone I otherwise wouldn’t have” while dining at a communal table.

Sure, Thanksgiving is a little different – and typically not a table full of strangers – but in my own unscientific study on Thursday, Gen Z (my nieces and nephews) was well-represented and highly engaged. I didn’t see a single phone on the table.

My Gen Z daughter hosted a gathering of friends, and friends of friends, to celebrate the holiday. It’s gained international popularity, according to The Guardian: 42% of Gen Z living in the U.K. said they have attended or hosted Thanksgiving dinner, while 16% said they would do so for the first time this year.

The desire of this generation to build real-life community goes beyond their dining preferences. It shaped and stoked the campaign to elect Zohran Mamdani as mayor of New York City.

Writing in The New York Times, Emma Goldberg and Benjamin Oreskes described it this way: “Addicted to their screens, strapped for cash, spiritually unmoored and socially stunted by the pandemic, young New Yorkers needed a reason to get out of the house. They found it in Zohran Mamdani’s mayoral run.”

The campaign was as much about socializing as mobilizing. There was a scavenger hunt, a soccer tournament, do-it-yourself Mamdani merchandise (“merch”) parties, and $5 beer nights where supporters could gather to debrief, after knocking on doors. Mamdani joined the revelry and hyped up the crowds.

As Goldberg and Oreskes observed, “the social buoyancy of his campaign wasn’t just for show. Young people turned up and voted.” Nearly 100,000 of them cast early ballots, lowering the median age of this voting bloc from 55 in 2021 to 50. And turnout overall was 84% higher than in 2021, a level of participation not seen since 1969.

I’ve written on occasion about the seminal book by Robert Putnam called “Bowling Alone,” which was first published 25 years ago. Putnam examined the slide in U.S. electoral participation in the decades since 1960. He correlated the decline in voting to a decline in civic engagement – especially “cooperative” forms of behavior, like serving on committees or attending political rallies.

Presciently, Putnam wrote, “This disjunctive pattern of decline – cooperation falling more rapidly than self-expression – may well have encouraged the single-issue blare and declining civility in contemporary political discourse.” When “Bowling Alone” was published in the year 2000, the major platforms that propelled social media into the mainstream had not yet launched.

Clearly, the Mamdani campaign understood: Political success often comes from giving people a reason to gather – true, it seems, across generations.

At the National Conflict Resolution Center, we talk about curiosity as a salve that can heal all sorts of divides – especially when it stretches us beyond preconceived ideas. I saw this in action at a recent NCRC staff retreat, where we conducted an exercise called “Generation Exploration.”

Each person joined one of four groups based on age. As we discussed the events that influenced us, it was easy to see how they shaped our work styles and preferences. For example, Generation X (ages 44-59) was the first cohort to grow up in a society where two working parents became the economic and social norm; these independent “latchkey kids” can find it difficult to collaborate.

And while all of us were affected by the pandemic, Gen Z experienced the most profound disruption. Their struggles with social isolation and disconnection occurred at a critical time for developing identity and relationships. It made the transition into the workforce – and in-person interactions – a challenge.

But Gen Z craves (rather than loathes) the opportunity to be shoulder-to-shoulder with other people. A shared purpose, like electing Zohran Mamdani, spurs action. This generation is anything but lazy, as the stereotype would have you believe.

I learned that by being curious.

It’s like Thanksgiving dinner. You should try Aunt Linda’s cranberry relish, even if you think you won’t like it. You may be surprised.

Steven P. Dinkin is president of the National Conflict Resolution Center (NCRC), a San Diego-based organization that is working to create innovative solutions to challenging issues, including intolerance and incivility. To learn about NCRC’s programming, visit www.ncrconline.com.