Lederer on Language: Let’s talk turkey about our Thanksgiving holiday

Thanksgiving Day is mainly a celebration of the harvest, giving thanks for bountiful crops. Traditionally, a particular meal in 1621 is thought to be the first Thanksgiving. Plymouthcolonists and Wampanoag Indians sat down together to an autumn feast of venison and wild fowl.

On Nov. 26, 1789, George Washington established the first national celebration of Thanksgiving. In 1863, Abraham Lincoln, hoping to unite a sundered nation, issued a proclamation declaring Thanksgiving to be a national holiday. Congress passed a joint resolution in 1941 decreeing that Thanksgiving should fall on the fourth Thursday of each November, where it remains today. Harry S. Truman established the tradition of granting a presidential pardon to a Thanksgiving turkey, who is then retired, alive and gobbling, to a petting farm.

Food and family are the cornerstones of the holiday. Thanksgiving traditions include preparing sumptuous meals that often include turkey, stuffing, gravy, sweet potatoes, cranberrysauce, and pumpkin pie.

The Pilgrims found in America a wild fowl somewhat similar in appearance to a fowl they had known back in England — a bird that had acquired the name turkey because it was firstimported by way of Turkey, a Middle Eastern nation that doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving.

Around 88 percent of Americans eat turkey on Thanksgiving, consuming nearly 50 million birds. In 2024, California raised 5.2 million turkeys, with an average weight of 32.2 pounds. In total, California produced about 165 million pounds of turkey last year. So now’s the time to talk turkey.

How do Halloween and Thanksgiving differ?One has goblins, and the other has gobblers.

Why do turkeys hate Thanksgiving?Because they’re cut to pieces, they have the stuffing knocked out of them, and they’re picked on for days after Thanksgiving.

What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Eve?“Quack! Quack!”

Why did the musicians let the turkey join the band?Because she had the drumsticks.

Why did the band leader save the drumsticks from 38 turkeys?Because she wanted to play “76 tom bones.”

Why did the turkey cross the road?It was the chicken’s day off.

Why did the police arrest the turkey?They suspected it of fowl play.

Why should you keep your eye off the turkey dressing?

Because it makes it blush.

What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?The turkey trot.

What’s a turkey’s favorite song?“I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas.”

What three keys have legs but can’t open doors?A turkey, a monkey, and a donkey.

What is the best thing to put into a turkey?Your teeth.

What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?Enough drumsticks for a large Thanksgiving dinner.

What’s a Thanksgiving turkey’s favorite doll?A gobble-head.

Why is a Thanksgiving turkey a fashionable bird?Because it always appears well dressed for dinner.

What did the mother turkey say to her daughter as she ate?“Don’t gobble your food.”

How do you make a turkey float?You need two scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a turkey.

What sort of glass would you serve cream of turkey soup in?A goblet.

What disasters could happen if you dropped the Thanksgiving turkey?The downfall of Turkey, the breakup of China, and the overthrow of Greece.

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